Do dragons have an Aunt Flo?
Ok. So let me tell you, I hate UWI students. Hate, hate, HATE UWI students. Even when I was one myself I hated them. I didn’t hate myself because, of course, I’m always fabulous. And well I didn’t hate my best friend. And I didn’t hate the ones that I liked. But apart from those I was and remain to this day disgusted by them all.
And I especially dislike the ones for whom St. Augustine is some strange, new uncharted land. They stand at the entrance of campus and see the words Terra Incognita and perhaps dragons and serpents threaded through the always verdant lawn and think, “Duuuuurrrrrrrrrr…
“What strange new place is this? No-one has been here before me. Nay, I am the first to rest my eyes on this strange and wondrous land and, like Christopher Columbus (or Cristóbal Colón for you nit picking Latino bitches out there although since the man was Italian technically speaking it should read Cristoforo Colombo), I will claim this land as my own and squeeze from it endless pleasure.”
You see it in their eyes as they try to swagger past you with their denim yeast infection tight pants and petroleum by product styled hair. They are no longer in their parents’ house and now they can stay up late and eat KFC for breakfast and oh my God, LOOK, boys, boys, BOYS, swoon! Or, worse yet, geezus, meh mudder eh here to see me and warn me look at PUSSY! Pussy pussy pussypussypussy! Eh horse, ah going and DEAD with pussy first semester. Watch meh
Why this rampage tonight? Oooooo, I thought you’d never ask. I have SUCH a doozy to share with you. You’ll like this one.
Well, my landlord’s informed me that the reason why the sewage system is wonky is because somebody has been flushing her sanitary pads down the toilet. A UWI student. Isn’t that WONDERFUL!? Doesn’t that just fill you up to your neck with confidence in our future leaders? How the hell are you going to change the world if you can’t change your own damn sanitary pad? I mean, really. Really? Somebody has to tell you this? You haven’t worked out the mechanics of feminine hygiene yet but you’re moving on to tertiary level education? And this education is FREE?!?! This is what I’m paying tax to support?
Man, give me a precocious 8-year-old any day. Or at the very least a dragon. Do dragons menstruate?
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You had me at the title, I ketch some kix.
Bless
Bitter is the new black.
Yuh saying dat like yuh eh sure!
Last year I spent a month in Trinidad and Tobago. I stayed at a gated community in North Trinidad. The residents are very select, professional adult people with high-paying jobs. Educated… At least I thought so…
Lo and behold, one day all the toilets in the house backed up. Stinky water coming up through the bowl onto the floor of the toilets. This house was the first, and closest to the external cesspit, (also lowest).
When the plumber came, we unclogged the outside cylindrical cap and used a rod to try and clear the obstruction… However, the moment the cap became unscrewed, pressure caused the backed up stuff to spew almost 15 feet into the air, messing up the walls, the entire yard and even getting into the air conditioning unit (the external part, blowing both of them up).
The cause? Someone one was flushing sanitary pads down the toilets which clogged the pipe leading to the cesspit.
The cost of repairs? To change three toilets and two air conditioning units cost nearly $15,000…
Ay ay! Look who! How’ve you been Jumbie? Welcome!
I dey… missed yuh nah…
I missed you too! I’m now getting back into the blog groove so be patient with lazy old Susz. How are things in the UK?
hahahaha *checks pants*
Girl, I talking brave, about half my pants meet that criteria eh…
SHAME.